Hello and welcome.
My name is Simon Kelly, and this
talk is called “Just Today”, and it’s
all about reframing your mindset.
So the reason it’s called just today
is because that’s a mantra that I
developed to help me with some of the
mindset issues that I was suffering.
And it helps me today
and helps me regularly.
It’s one of the many mantras that I’ll
be talking about within this talk.
Now the purpose of this
talk is to help you.
If you’re someone who wants to change
the kind of results you’re getting in
your life, you want to be able to take
the right kinds of actions and you
want to feel better while doing that.
And you think maybe, maybe there’s
something in this mindset stuff.
Maybe it’s the way i’m thinking
that’s going to help me take actions.
How do these work together?
So, if you’re curious about that, and
you’re interested in improving some of
the results that you get in your life.
My hope for you is that through what I’m
going to be sharing with you about how
the brain works, and the two different
parts of the brain, and then three common
mindset issues that I, I noticed myself
and I noticed other people, suufer from,
most commonly, and then the additional
strategies that I’ll be sharing with you
about how to reframe these mindset issues.
My hope is that at least one of
these things will be helpful for you
to improve the way that you think
and, and take action and to improve
the results you get in your life.
So a quick a frame on this – this
is not professional advice.
I’m not a trained
psychologist or a counselor.
This comes from my own experience.
And through my, several years coaching
as a head coach at WP Elevation and
Mavericks club and through my own
business, my own agency, Renegade, empire,
working with business owners, and then
just practical advice that I’ve shared
with others that help them as well.
And the things that I’ve applied that’s
helped, help myself through some of
the things that I’ve struggled with and
continue to struggle with and work on.
So, if you are suffering from anxiety
or depression, then you do want help
and you do want some professional help.
I strongly encourage you to reach out
to the resources that are available.
It can be a really hard first step,
but, I strongly encourage you to do so
and seek some professional guidance.
So, first of all, why
is mindset important?
Why is this something that’s so important?
So a lot of the times that the
way we look at things are now
actually how the are, our mindset
or our perception of things, it can
sometimes deceive us and be incorrect.
And one of my favorite illustrations
of this is a story from author,
Byron, Katie, and she talks about
hiking in the Mojave desert.
And as she’s walking along, she sees
a, it comes across a rattlesnake.
And in that moment, she
was really struck by fear.
Is this rattlesnake there?
She’s thinking, Oh my God,
I’m, I’m going to die.
I’m going to get bitten.
I’m going to get poisoned, but die
right here in the desert started to
notice these physical symptoms of fear
in that fight or flight response would
like the sweaty palms and the elevated
heart rate and the pupils dilated.
And that hyper-awareness,
that comes with it.
And in that moment she noticed
something else about this snake.
It wasn’t actually a snake at all.
This was actually just a piece of
rope and it was just sitting there.
And in that moment, Byron Katie’s symptoms
just started to fade and dissipate.
The sweaty palms went away.
The heart way, heart rate went down and
nothing’s actually changed in the world.
It’s just the perception, the,
the, the truth, the understanding
of what’s actually going on
is, is all that’s changed.
And that was all internal.
So something I’m going to paraphrase
from the book here that Byron Katie talks
about is that she could stay in there all
day over the snake and not feel anything
the whole world could come by and scare
themselves to death and even run away.
And she could stay in there fearlessly
and just pass on the good news.
So what does this tell us?
Perceptions control our reality.
What we think is real is very real to us.
And we feel based on
these thoughts, right?
Our own thoughts, our perceptions
trigger these emotions, right?
And very, very strong emotions in this
case, but it’s not necessarily true.
What we’re thinking.
The rope isn’t necessarily the snake.
So what you think you become, if
you’re thinking stressful thoughts,
you become stressed and that’s with
a, without a stressful situation.
So did the rope make
Byron Katie feel fear?
No, it was her thoughts about
the rope and what she thought it
was, how she perceived it to be.
So in the way that we practice mindset
and learn about mindset, if we’re
doing this regularly and we learn about
these things and we practice and we.
Understand, a bit more about our thoughts
and how they impact the results we get.
This can really improve our awareness and
to not have unnecessary stress and we can
see things how they really are, and that
can really, we can be more in control
of gliding our feelings and our thoughts
towards the actions that we want to take.
But on the flip side of that, if we’re
not working on our mindset, if we’re
just letting ourselves be reactive
and just, you know, letting our
thoughts kinda run rampant, we can have
unnecessary stress and we can just be
kind of a victim to our own thoughts
and just letting those, run wild.
We can be less likely to take action less
in control of our emotions and our state,
and be more glided, more likely to be,
have the result of compulsive behaviors.
It’s going to leave us feeling
stuck and losing confidence and
overall feeling unfulfilled,
which is not what we want in life.
So unfortunately this is where I’ve
found myself many, many, many years ago.
But first of all, going way, way back,
I’ve always been interested in how the
brain works through just seeing people
operate in the world and thinking
about myself and like, I wouldn’t
necessarily do that, but they do.
So after I left school, I studied
criminology for a few years.
It was awesome.
Super fascinating psychology side
of things, and a subject called,
conduct a human, the human condition.
And that was absolutely amazing.
Fast forward a few years, I started
making websites in 2007 and started my
business in 2009 and have been building
websites and working with clients on
development, design, and marketing.
Since then super fascinated in the
mindset and, and, psychology element of
marketing as well and mindset coaching,
super passionate about those things.
Well, it’s always been quite a social
kind of guy, regularly, like seeing
my friends and being out and about and
exploring new places and stuff like that.
But a few years ago, I
wasn’t social at all.
I was trying to build my business
and I didn’t feel like I was
doing a particularly good job.
I could barely even leave the house.
I’m not sure exactly what was
happening, but I just felt like I was,
I didn’t have the stuff I didn’t have.
Those things that other people have
that we’re able to achieve success
in some kind of effortless way.
And I didn’t know what that stuff was.
I felt like all I knew, I thought
I knew was that I didn’t have it.
There was even one time where I,
I gave my girlfriend at the time,
my phone, because the, just the
thought, just having it Nimi.
Would send me into incredibly anxious,
and negative spiral, the ding of it,
or just the thought of it potentially
going off and needing to respond
just was no good for me at that time.
So it was a couple of days before I could
even bring myself to take action on that.
And that really, it was a bit sad
on reflection, but at the time it
was, that was also quite curious,
but like what, what is going on?
And I knew I needed some space to
like, try to try to figure this out.
Know I wasn’t making the money
that I wanted to, what money I
did have was kind of running out.
It just felt like a complete failure.
I really felt like I lacked confidence.
I really thought that was the answer.
I need to be more confident.
So I would actually do things
that were kind of worse off for
what, for long-term confidence.
I do work for free for people.
I would just seek praise
for things that I was doing.
I would go out and I would force myself
to go out to some social situations,
not really with my close friends,
but with like acquaintances, like
kind of business contacts at meetups
where I could kind of be anyone like,
they didn’t really know her, so they
would know me or anything like that.
So I could put on this, this facade
and, that I would, in some ways, get
some praise and make some friends and.
But after that, I would be so exhausted.
I would be like wiped out for days.
Cause I’m kind of trying to boost
myself up in order to, to get out there.
And I thought that would really
help, but it’s kind of like eating
junk food, like chocolate chip
cookies or something like that.
Getting that those little hits of praise
from external validation, it’s like a
praise flavored chocolate chip cookie,
but you just want more of all the time.
You have one, you just keep wanting
more, keep wanting to you’re building
that habit of that unhealthy habit.
It’s not something that’s gonna improve.
Long-term long-term confidence.
I’d love to say at this point,
I discovered something that
like changed everything.
Like, you know, the three easy
mindset hacks or something like
that, but it wasn’t the case at all.
It was a combination of being
aware and just looking at my
own behavior and learning.
And the things that I’m going to
share, hopefully useful to you, but
these are some of the most important
things that really came out of this,
this chronic kind of painful, but,
overall I’m grateful for it, this,
this learning experience that I had.
So the common mindset issues
that I say there’s, there’s three
main ones, but first of all, I
want to get into understanding
our brains a little bit more.
So there are two parts of the brain
that I really want to talk about.
So there’s the neocortex
and the limbic system.
First of all, the neo-con texts, it’s the
new brain, it’s the younger kind of brain.
It controls things like planning
and like strategic thinking.
So when we’re making plans and
doing goal setting and analyzing
results and things like that,
that’s the, that’s the neocortex,
it’s the new part of our brain.
Then we’ve got the limbic system and the
amygdala sometimes referred to as the
croc brain, then this controls things like
emotions and memory, and it’s involved
with reinforcing behaviors as well.
So we’re in the one we’re in the
moment when we’re in the right now,
when we’re feeling strong emotions,
whether there’s a fear or love or
responding to a physical threat, like a
rattlesnake rope, something like that.
That’s our limbic system.
That’s what’s inaction at that point.
Now, this is where we can
really trip ourselves up.
When we want to change something
in our lives and want to set a goal
and achieve that and work on it.
There’s two parts of our brain that are,
that are working here when we set the goal
and we’re like, all right, I want to make.
Yeah, a hundred thousand
dollars this year.
That sounds great.
Neocortex is activated thinking.
I love that.
It’s like far off in the distance.
It’s not in the now, so it’s not the
emotional response reacting to fight
or flight or anything like that.
It’s thinking in the future, it’s
strategically planning feels great
neocortex reinforcing itself.
Love to make plans.
That will be amazing.
And then love to set that goal and
then making a plan, breaking that down.
What do I need to do to make
a hundred thousand dollars?
I need to, I need to sell
some more of my, my services.
I need to contact, these
I need to set up my, my website.
I need to, create some marketing copy.
The sounds the sounds doable.
How many calls do I probably need to make?
It looks like it’s going to be trying
to make about 20 contacts per week.
And convert this kind of money
and the math makes sense.
Neocortex is having a great time.
It’s analyzing things, doing math.
Awesome feels, feels pretty good doing
this, not particularly strong emotion,
unless you’re thinking in the future and
imagining what you’re going to do with
all this money and how amazing it will be.
It’s really not in the now.
So your, your limbic system is not really
particularly activated at that point.
When it does kick in is
when you are taking action.
You’ve got these plans.
You’re whatever you’ve done.
You’ve set up your vision
board and you’re like, yes.
All right, I’m going to do these things.
I’m going to contact these people.
Write these articles, let’s
go sit down and get to work.
And something else kicks in.
Does it another voice going on there?
It’s like, Whoa, I didn’t
really feel like doing this.
I don’t know what to do,
what what’s going on yet.
Or really write these articles.
This doesn’t feel right yesterday.
We’re making these plans and
making a hundred thousand
dollars and that felt amazing.
But right now, Like, how
are we going to get them?
We’re not going to make progress.
Maybe, maybe there’s a course.
Maybe there’s a course.
I can get, okay.
Buy a course, do the course.
That feels pretty good.
You’re not really taking that action.
That’s going to help, but
you’re doing the course.
You’re taking something you’re
being busy and that’s kind of
distracting for the moment.
Maybe that doesn’t work,
that doesn’t play out.
And you still haven’t
written that article.
You still haven’t made those calls
or made those contacts, those things.
That you’ve made the plan to
help you, but now you’re not
taking action on that thing.
There’s another, another voice
that’s coming up and it knows
you very well because it’s hung
out with you for your whole life.
And it’s, something Steven
Pressfield calls, in his book, the
war of art called the resistance.
And this is you in the moment,
not wanting to take the action.
You said you’re going to do it.
Now, this is just to keep you safe.
It’s to keep you from change.
And that’s what our limbic
system, that’s what our, our
croc brain is really good at.
It’s keeping us doing the
things to keep us safe, to stop
us expanding too much energy.
So it will be resistant to change.
Now at this point, there’s
nothing really to do.
This is just something to be aware of.
It’s not something that’s unique to you.
It’s not something you can sit there
and be like, Oh, like, I’m just no
good at this because that again is your
resistance helping you not take action.
That’s an excuse to stop you from
doing the thing that you need to do.
So at this point, nothing to
do, just be aware of this.
The next thing is that
thoughts create feelings.
So we have like 75,000 thoughts per day.
No idea who counted all of these
thoughts, but let’s just call that
a fact they aren’t real or relevant
or necessarily useful, but they
can stir up emotions within us.
Some things are just facts.
You may just have a thought
about, okay, there’s there’s
my phone, there’s the lights.
There’s the wall.
That doesn’t really do anything,
but maybe there’s a thought like,
you know, I’m no good at this.
I could never present
effectively to an audience.
I can’t write marketing copy.
I’ll never be a success.
Like these kinds of things.
They can, they can be painful.
They can store up, they can
store up emotions that are,
that are not very helpful.
On the flip side, you can have,
thoughts, like, I just need
to put in a bit more effort.
Who do I know that I can learn from?
I can’t wait to try this
out for the first time.
These kinds of thoughts, they can
stir up different kinds of emotions.
And those emotions can be much
more inspiring to take action.
Sometimes one of them is reactive saying
it’s kind of like happening to us.
And then the other one is proactive as
we’re actively creating these thoughts.
Now my first experience of like
applicable a way that these, this
concept can be actually applied.
Was I introduced to me from, my
good friend, Jenny Lincolnton, and
it’s a cold the model by Brookhurst
Theo from the life coaching school.
And I’m just going to give you a very
high level, look at this right now.
But, if this is interesting to
you, I encourage you to go and
check it out in more detail.
Just go ahead and Google that.
And, there’s videos and I
think there’s articles too.
So it goes like this and I’m just
going to, you know, map it out
with my hands at the top there’s
circumstance, like things that are
happening and then there’s thoughts.
And then below that is feelings.
Cause thoughts create feelings, right?
As the example of Byron Katie,
the thought of that being a
snake created that feeling.
And then we act based on our feelings and
then our results are based on our actions.
They’re a result of our actions.
So thoughts mean, sorry, circumstance,
thoughts, feelings, action results.
Now I’m just going to put an example
through this so you can see how it
works, both in the reactive and the
proactive way of looking at this.
So let’s say you’ve got a client and
they’re not paying their invoice.
So circumstance client not paying invoice.
Thought it could be lots of thoughts
that can happen at this point.
Let’s pick one that you may, you
may have experienced, or you may know
someone who’s experienced thought.
I, my clients never pay on time.
I’m no good at this.
I’ll never be a success feeling awful.
Not, not very good, not inspired.
They’re just down.
Just no energy, you know?
So let’s just say uninspired.
Feel like a failure action from that
feeling, you know, complain to someone,
tell them, tell someone that I know
all my clients are paying result.
Clients continue not to pay on time.
So this could be a, a maybe
dramatic, but a reactive model.
Things that something just
happens automatically, you
know, without you intervening.
So we can flip that around.
And when, instead of starting with our
thoughts, we’re going to do the same
circumstance, but instead of starting with
our thoughts, we’ll start with the result.
So the result, all my
clients pay on time in fault.
Could, what action could help with that?
Maybe it’s setting up some
kind of automatic payment
system take their credit card.
That sounds pretty good.
So what feeling is going to
help me take that action?
Maybe it’s a feeling of
just like calm confidence.
There’s not really, maybe there’s not
really much that needs to feel just
calm confidence to do that action.
And then the thought, what thought
will help cultivate that feeling?
I know what I’m doing and this will help.
I know this will help me.
I know setting up automatic
payments will help me.
That’s a pretty good thought.
So now the circumstance client not
paying is I didn’t pay invoice on time.
Now has the thought, I know I need to
set up my automatic payment system,
which creates the feeling of just calm
confidence, which creates the action
of setting up the automatic payment
system and getting those credit card
details, which creates the result
of all your clients paying on time.
Okay, so this, I really liked this one,
this model, as a way of being able to
observe your thoughts and how they impact
your feelings and your actions and your
results and how the circumstances kind
of play into this and that you don’t have
to be always reactive in the same way.
You can become proactive through
practice and through awareness.
So look up, if you’re interested in
this, go ahead and look up the, The,
the model by Brooke Castillo from
the life coaching school, after
the rest of this talk, of course.
The next thing I want to go through
is being aware of how you compare.
I don’t know about you, but, I can very
much compare myself to versions of myself
that it heaps better and it doesn’t
feel very good or compare myself to
versions of other people that I interpret
or perceive as being heaps better.
And that also doesn’t feel very good.
Sometimes it does inspire
me to take action though.
It’s I get a little competitive
and that can be very fun.
So why is comparison sometimes
a good thing and sometimes
not so good of a thing.
Like what what’s up with that?
We unpack the way that we compare the
different ways we can kind of engineer
comparisons that are useful to us.
An example of a comparison.
That’s not particularly useful.
I have that I have used in the past and
I have, received some treatment that has
helped me be aware of this and be able to,
in some ways, overcome it in some ways.
And it’s comparing my current worst self.
To my future, best self by difference.
So if I look at me now, feeling
awful, whatever that might be,
I don’t feel over right now.
I feel amazing.
But, in some moments I might
not be feeling particularly good.
Say I’m working on a project and
I’m like, Oh man, this is new.
This is hard.
What am I doing?
God, what am I, what am I doing?
And I think ahead to the future.
And I think about this version of myself
that I’m like idolizing and I want to
become, and I’m like, Aw, like that
version of me doesn’t have this problem.
Ah, I’ll never get there.
Maybe a thought that comes up that
thought then creates a feeling of
being down and I’ll believe it.
I’ll never get there.
But if I kind of decide to
re-engineer that a little bit, and
I’m like, okay, so I’m comparing by
word best self at the moment with
future best self by difference.
That’s not particularly helpful, but
let’s say I compare to, yesterday or
last week and the things I was working on
and maybe not my best self, but you know,
pretty good version of myself last week.
Like, you know, working away at things.
And then this week, My best self, well, my
pretty good self work in a way and things.
I don’t compare that by difference.
Like, well, I’m doing, you know,
I’m doing these things a bit better.
I’m, I’m, getting up a bit earlier
and I’m working a little bit more on my
health and that feels pretty amazing.
That’s a lot more inspiring.
The kind of metaphor that I, that I
like to use with this comparison is,
is like, a play with a cat with like
a, like a piece of string or whatever,
a cat toy, and you drag it alone.
And if you don’t drag it fast enough
and they catch it and then they kind of
get bored real fast and start looking
around and like, you never existed.
Then that’s not fun for them.
And it’s not fun for you
when the game’s over.
If you don’t move it fast enough.
Have you moved too fast, then
kind of same thing happens.
They’re like get excited and then, you
know, they’re gone and you just, wow.
That was a short game.
But if you’re able to just move it
just a little bit, so they, they
think that they can get it and they
may get it every now and then, but
it’s just enough interestingness.
It’s just, it’s that motivation.
That’s like, ah, I could get
there, but I’m not there yet.
That’s what you want to be kind
of aiming for when it comes to,
if you’re comparing with someone,
right, you don’t have to just do
reactive, you can do it proactively.
So the next thing I want to look at is
growth mindset and the growth mindset
is simply that with effort you can
change and improve with a fixed mindset.
You are who you want, you know, your
inherent abilities, some words that
might come up in a fixed mindset.
Like I am no good at this.
Right and words that might
come up in a growth mindset.
I’m not so good at this yet.
I need more practice.
So you can just change those wordings
to help you shift your mindset.
There’s really subtle, ways that we talk
to ourselves and talk to others can really
affect the way we think about things.
There’s so much in the words that
we say to others and to ourselves.
So we’re in a growth mindset.
Everything is a skill.
Everything is learnable.
Here I am presenting at the
moment like w will recording.
And it’s something that like I do, I
would love to be much better at I’d
love it to be, effortless in some way.
But thinking about that and
thinking about it being effortless
is maybe a very long way away.
But if I think about the effort I’m
putting in that and focus on today
and focus on the actions I’m taking to
improve, and the efforts I put into talks,
that’s something I can control, but being
effortlessly good at this at some point
in the future, that that’s a far away goal
and it’s going to take action right now.
But if I focus on those actions, if I
focus on that growth and being on the
edge of my comfort zone and continuously
practicing and getting feedback.
That is much more likely to help than
just focusing on this future best
version that I may or may not get to.
So be aware of your, your mindset.
Are you in a fixed mindset or
are you in a growth mindset?
How can you adjust your language
to become more of in a fixed
mindset and focus on your efforts?
There was, an event that I was, I
was helping organize and we were
doing this, this live stream, for a
dentist who coached other dentists.
And he was talking about the sales process
and he was talking about, saying to,
people who come to the dentist pricing and
that it’s uncomfortable for some dentists.
And this dentist coach was saying, all you
do is you just say what the pricing is.
And then you say nothing.
You said that.
And he said, it’s only uncomfortable
the first 200 times, and then it’s easy.
And I thought that was
hilarious, but also very true.
It’s like, it’s not going to you.
Don’t just make it up.
Like, Oh, I’m good at this.
And it’s comfortable now
maybe for some people it is.
But if that’s not for
you, it’s repetition.
It’s getting in there and it’s working out
more reps and be excited about those reps.
Let’s go put in some reps,
not I’m not there yet.
I’m going to sit on the
couch and feel like crap.
That’s a reactive way of doing
things, but more proactively is
going in and putting in the reps
like a quote that inspires me daily.
And I think about very
often is from Henry Ford.
I first read this in, in think and
grow rich the book by Napoleon Hill.
And it’s whether you think you can,
or you think you can’t you’re right.
So you might as well just think you can.
Well, think you can try at least
think you can put in some effort.
So they are the common mindset
issues and a couple of different
ways to work around them.
Now, I want to share with you some of the
strategies and the mantras that I’ve used
to really help, improve my own mindset.
First of all, it’s taking
care of the fundamentals.
Now, the fundamentals to me, sleep
and I mean, asking any kind of
psychologist or, a doctor about
this is, I guess isn’t just me.
It’s sleep, eating and exercise.
So sleeping eight hours a night,
like whatever you need to feel
good, but aiming for rent eight
hours and eating a healthy diet.
Try not to snack too much, just
being aware of what you’re doing
and trying to lessen the compulsive
behavior of snacking when you’re
feeling anxious and things like that.
And then exercise getting out, going
for a walk, any small, simple steps
that you can do a couple of pushups.
Whatever it might be and aiming to do
those kind of in the morning, because
when you’re taking actions that are good
for you, that really builds confidence.
And if you do that first, then that can
carry out throughout your whole day.
Other things that can really help I’m
really cultivating that growth mindset.
Gratitude is something I’ve found that
can really, easily switch my mindset
from like, Oh, this everything sucks
to like, Oh, you know, I’m pretty
grateful that, you know, I’ve got legs.
And I live in a, like a really like
where I live and I have great friends.
That just is like, just another
perspective on life, completely
where I may be like really
focused on my current problems.
Another thing is meditating.
Meditating actually really helps that,
that front part of that front part
of our brain, that prefrontal cortex,
it, it really helps that recover and
helps us develop some more willpower.
So meditation in its most
simple ways would be.
Sitting still and focusing on your
breath for around 10 minutes, as
far as I’m aware, there’s not a
particularly, easy, quick, or
full-proof way to get good at meditating.
It’s a practice.
It’s not something you’re like.
I am the master of meditation.
It’s something to practice for you just
as the way that you go to sleep and you
rest and you eat healthy, you take care
of your brain by just stopping it from
reactive thoughts all the time, all the
time, all the time and giving it a break.
Giving it some blissful rest just to,
to focus on one thing for 10 minutes.
So they, they are the fundamentals.
The next thing is knowing your why.
Now this has probably been done to
death so many times, but knowing
your why is, is so important.
There’s a book, by Victor Frankl
called man’s search for meaning.
And there’s a, I believe it’s a
quote in there or maybe it’s niche,
but anyway, it’s those with a strong
enough, why can we stand anyhow?
If you remember from earlier with
the two different parts of our
brain, the, the hell the is very
much in the now and that’s going to
be what we’re going to potentially
come up against some resistance.
But if you have a super strong, why,
if you’re really connecting with your,
why you can withstand those howls,
you can withstand those things that
aren’t quite going the way you want to.
It’s not all, all perfect,
for you in those moments.
But connecting in with
that wine can really help.
Here’s a really basic
way to connect with them.
Your why quick exercise.
So, first of all, what do you want?
Like, what’s something
that you want in your life.
And then why is that important?
Ask yourself why, why is that important?
Why else is that important?
Like get deeper.
If you’re familiar with WP elevation
and Troy Dean’s work, you might
know about the go wide, go deep
framework, do this on yourself.
You know, why is this important?
Why else, why else, why else what’s
most important connecting and really
feel that you want to get to a
point where you’re like, really?
You found some good stuff, like
some, Oh yeah, I really want that.
And example could be something
like, you know, talking before about
making a hundred thousand dollars.
Why is that important to you?
Until you really connecting with
something, that’s like, Aw, that that’s
really, that’s why I want to do this.
The next thing is, is
Now this isn’t so much a thing to do as
a, just a thing to, to be in your life.
As you go about your day as you do
work, just practicing, being aware
and you can use, triggers like
emotions to, to improve your awareness.
Like if I’m working on something
and I notice myself getting a bit
agitated or uncomfortable, just pause,
just take a breath and just be aware
of what’s going on at the moment.
I notice there’s something in my
chest and I’m feeling a bit sweaty.
And that’s it just being
aware at that time.
So something to practice, the
awareness is the precursor to change.
You can’t really change something if
you’re not aware that it’s a problem
or it’s a behavior that you’re doing.
So when it can really help you identify
what’s going on the next, the will.
The first of the mantras that I want to
share with you is what’s the opportunity.
So this is something or pizza
myself throughout the day.
It’s a practice that I have now.
Because I want to see the
opportunity in everything.
If I’m there’s moments where I might feel
quite down and it’s not really working the
way I want to, but when I think what’s the
opportunity here, is this an opportunity
for patients, for me, maybe I’m injured
and it’s taking a long time to heal, and
I’m not able to do some running that I
want to it’s opportunity for patients.
Maybe I’m speaking in an event for the
first time with people I don’t know about
this might be an opportunity for courage.
Or if I’m starting a blog and I’m new
to writing or something like that,
there’s an opportunity for practice.
There’s always an opportunity and
you can use this mantra to help
you see what that opportunity is.
The next mantra is do hard things.
So everyday doing hunt things that are
going to progress you towards your goal.
Now start wherever you are.
Whatever’s hard for you.
Don’t worry about what’s hard for someone
else and what you think you should be
able to do and what you can’t do, but
doing hunt things that are just for you.
I have a stack of index cards
and I write the things I need to
do each day on the index cards.
It’s index cards, because I can
only fit like 10 things on there.
And I’ll Mark three of them as things
that, that are hot for me, they
going to be growth, like edgy kind
of things for me, but they are going
to progress me towards my goals.
One of them is my morning
routine that I’m developing.
It’s not really a full-blown habit.
I don’t do it autonomously just yet.
So it is something that,
that helps me grow.
It is going to help me, will hopefully
help me move towards my goal.
So I put that on the
list and I Mark that off.
And when I do that, that fills me
with confidence that I’m doing the
thing I said, I’m going to do it.
So start wherever you are with
whatever you’re working on.
Whatever’s a little bit edgy for you.
If it’s too difficult, the things
you’re putting on there just maybe
lower the stakes a bit until you’re
able to cross those things off.
If it’s too easy for you,
then, you know, grow the stakes
a little bit up the stakes.
If that’s the expression and put
things that are a little bit more
difficult for you, this is really
gonna expand your comfort zone.
The next mantra is the good
thing is, and this was, this
was a very important one for me.
I would remember finishing my days
and thinking I didn’t achieve enough.
That was an awful day.
I feel like crap, and that would not be
a good way, you know, to, to breasts at
night or to kind of reflect on my day.
It’s not very useful for growth.
But I developed a thing
called the good things list.
It was just a piece of paper
and it was like divided into,
the days and five, rows.
So it was for the weeks of the month.
And then each day I had to write one
good thing that happened in the day.
So after a couple of weeks, I could
look back and I could see, you know,
regardless of what’s happening in my
day, the good thing is I did that.
And I did that.
Oh yeah, I did that.
You know, I’m feeling pretty good now.
It really helped to shift me
from, well, the bad thing is
this, this didn’t work today too.
Well, the good thing is blah, blah, blah.
And over time I was able to just
move my attention from seeing things
that aren’t working to, things
that have worked and are working.
To see what the good thing is
in so many different things.
It’s quite similar to know what’s the
opportunity, but the good thing is
something I encourage you to practice.
Even at the end of your sentences,
you’re complaining about something or
you’re down about something finishing
with, well, the good thing is, you know,
like my clients didn’t pay on time, but
the good thing is I’m going to set up
an automatic payment system and this
is not going to happen in the future.
So the last mantra that I’m gonna
share with you is the name of the talk.
And it’s just today.
Now this is to help focus on
the process, not the outcome,
talked about setting goals.
We talked about, you know,
making plans and taking action.
This is to help focus on just today.
What are the actions I
can take today right now?
What can I do to make today?
Don’t worry about tomorrow.
About three months away.
Don’t worry about these plans.
I have to the business and whatever
it might be in for my life.
And I don’t feel like I’m
ever going to get that out.
Back to just today.
And that has brought me some calm
and it helps me just focus on things.
Today I can, I can take that compartment.
I can take that little portion of time
and I can just work on those things
that really helps me maybe for you.
It’s just this album just right
now, whatever that might be.
I do encourage you to come up with
some of your own mantras that help you.
You you’ll know through like
testing and experimenting and,
and through that awareness.
I talked about that.
Like what, what kind of works for you
develop and own your own mantras or
borrow and steal other people’s or some
of the ones that I’ve discussed here.
So a quick recap.
So we talked about how our brains work
with the neocortex and the limbic system.
Talked about how our
thoughts create feelings.
And now we can reverse that by
looking at results and the actions
that we want to, that we need
to take to create those results.
Talked about proactive and reactive
thoughts, talked about growth
mindset versus a fixed mindset.
And then I shared with you the
various, mandarins that, that I’ve
used to be able to help reframe, my
own thoughts and my own mindset.
So just pause for a moment.
Just think like what’s something, maybe
you’ve been taking notes, like what’s
something that’s been helpful for you,
something that you can apply today or,
or right now, or at some point in the
very, very near future that you can
practice and you can see how you can
use that to reframe your own mindset.
So two things I would encourage you to
do right now, as well as one is just
notice, just become aware, just notice
yourself as you’re going about your day.
And you’re feeling certain things in
your you’re taking certain actions.
Just notice your awareness level.
Notice how things feel, what you
were doing beforehand, what you
were doing, what you’re doing next.
Then just kind of like describe
the physical sensations.
Maybe like, Oh, is it.
Bit of a knot in my stomach there.
When I, when I got that email, like
without judgment, just become aware and
the next thing is do one thing today.
If it’s not almost
midnight for you, but yeah.
Do one thing today.
That’s, you know, it’s edgy
for you, but it’s doable now.
It’ll help you.
It’s something to help
you move in the direction.
You want to go like, write it down,
put it somewhere that’s that’s visible,
like right in front of you and cross
it off, you know, when your day.
Then do this every day.
Like I said, I aim for three things.
Well, I do three things and
that is a win for the day.
If I do three of my like edgy
things, that’s me winning the day.
I don’t have to get through
everything on my list, but those
three things that are growth for me.
So one more thing before we wrap
up is the reality is unfortunate
reality or maybe fortunate reality.
It’s like, no, one’s coming to save us.
No, one’s coming to save you.
No, one’s coming to save me.
We’ve got to be there for ourselves.
We have to learn to coach ourselves.
We have to learn how we work and
how we can help ourselves, like
with someone else that we’re trying
to coach and like, come on, buddy.
You know, you got this let’s change this.
Can we have a closer look
at how you’re taking action?
Like, you know, you’re your best
friend trying to help you get
the most out of life, you know?
No one’s going to come
and do this stuff for us.
Unfortunately, we have to cultivate
these things and do it for ourselves.
Thinking clearer and feeling better
is something you can improve.
You can practice this stuff.
You can be better at it with effort
by taking time to practice awareness,
see opportunities and do hard things.
You’ll build trust in
yourself and build confidence.
So focus on that today, just today.
And I’ll just leave you with this
quote, be impatient with action,
but patient with the results.
That’s from who’s the
co-founder of angel list.
So massive thank you to the WordFest
organizers and big orange heart.
And thank you to you for watching this.
Until next time, thank you and take care.