The festival of WordPress
January 22, 2021

This is an archive of the January 2021 event

The Good Thing Is

Do you know how sometimes there’s that voice in your head, the one that’s like a grumpy housemate that always seems to have something negative to say about everything?

If you decide to focus on what this voice is saying and believe it, it can really dampen your mood and put you into a poor emotional state. From this emotional state, it can be very difficult to focus, take action and just generally be happy.

The good thing is, there are other voices in there too. More positive ones that you can cultivate and learn to focus on.

In this talk, I’m going to share with you my experience with how to do that.

For 3 years, I was very fortunate to be one of the coaches for WP Elevation, and I talked to many of the students and people in the WordPress space about life, business, and mindset – the mindset piece is where my passion is as I see how it can help so many people.

Like many others, I personally have gone through struggles. There were many years where I felt as if I could barely get out of the house and would suffer from crippling anxiety.

Through a slow process (although some moments were very quick) I found ways to shift my thoughts to more positive things and I’ve seen how this momentum has helped me live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

In this talk, I’ll be sharing a few key lessons from my own experience and from what I’ve seen help many others in the hope that it can help more people too.

While I will be talking about our thoughts and how our brains work – I’m not a psychologist, so everything I’ll be sharing comes from my own experience and conversations with people much smarter than me. If you do need specific help, please talk to a trained professional.

Speaker: Simon Kelly

Time: 2:00am UTC
Region: Oceania
Stage: Fused Stage

Hello and welcome.

My name is Simon Kelly, and this

talk is called “Just Today”, and it’s

all about reframing your mindset.

So the reason it’s called just today

is because that’s a mantra that I

developed to help me with some of the

mindset issues that I was suffering.

And it helps me today

and helps me regularly.

It’s one of the many mantras that I’ll

be talking about within this talk.

Now the purpose of this

talk is to help you.

If you’re someone who wants to change

the kind of results you’re getting in

your life, you want to be able to take

the right kinds of actions and you

want to feel better while doing that.

And you think maybe, maybe there’s

something in this mindset stuff.

Maybe it’s the way i’m thinking

that’s going to help me take actions.

How do these work together?

So, if you’re curious about that, and

you’re interested in improving some of

the results that you get in your life.

My hope for you is that through what I’m

going to be sharing with you about how

the brain works, and the two different

parts of the brain, and then three common

mindset issues that I, I noticed myself

and I noticed other people, suufer from,

most commonly, and then the additional

strategies that I’ll be sharing with you

about how to reframe these mindset issues.

My hope is that at least one of

these things will be helpful for you

to improve the way that you think

and, and take action and to improve

the results you get in your life.

So a quick a frame on this – this

is not professional advice.

I’m not a trained

psychologist or a counselor.

This comes from my own experience.

And through my, several years coaching

as a head coach at WP Elevation and

Mavericks club and through my own

business, my own agency, Renegade, empire,

working with business owners, and then

just practical advice that I’ve shared

with others that help them as well.

And the things that I’ve applied that’s

helped, help myself through some of

the things that I’ve struggled with and

continue to struggle with and work on.

So, if you are suffering from anxiety

or depression, then you do want help

and you do want some professional help.

I strongly encourage you to reach out

to the resources that are available.

It can be a really hard first step,

but, I strongly encourage you to do so

and seek some professional guidance.

So, first of all, why

is mindset important?

Why is this something that’s so important?

So a lot of the times that the

way we look at things are now

actually how the are, our mindset

or our perception of things, it can

sometimes deceive us and be incorrect.

And one of my favorite illustrations

of this is a story from author,

Byron, Katie, and she talks about

hiking in the Mojave desert.

And as she’s walking along, she sees

a, it comes across a rattlesnake.

And in that moment, she

was really struck by fear.

Is this rattlesnake there?

She’s thinking, Oh my God,

I’m, I’m going to die.

I’m going to get bitten.

I’m going to get poisoned, but die

right here in the desert started to

notice these physical symptoms of fear

in that fight or flight response would

like the sweaty palms and the elevated

heart rate and the pupils dilated.

And that hyper-awareness,

that comes with it.

And in that moment she noticed

something else about this snake.

It wasn’t actually a snake at all.

This was actually just a piece of

rope and it was just sitting there.

And in that moment, Byron Katie’s symptoms

just started to fade and dissipate.

The sweaty palms went away.

The heart way, heart rate went down and

nothing’s actually changed in the world.


It’s just the perception, the,

the, the truth, the understanding

of what’s actually going on

is, is all that’s changed.

And that was all internal.

So something I’m going to paraphrase

from the book here that Byron Katie talks

about is that she could stay in there all

day over the snake and not feel anything

the whole world could come by and scare

themselves to death and even run away.

And she could stay in there fearlessly

and just pass on the good news.

So what does this tell us?

Perceptions control our reality.

What we think is real is very real to us.

And we feel based on

these thoughts, right?

Our own thoughts, our perceptions

trigger these emotions, right?

And very, very strong emotions in this

case, but it’s not necessarily true.

What we’re thinking.

The rope isn’t necessarily the snake.

So what you think you become, if

you’re thinking stressful thoughts,

you become stressed and that’s with

a, without a stressful situation.

So did the rope make

Byron Katie feel fear?

No, it was her thoughts about

the rope and what she thought it

was, how she perceived it to be.

So in the way that we practice mindset

and learn about mindset, if we’re

doing this regularly and we learn about

these things and we practice and we.

Understand, a bit more about our thoughts

and how they impact the results we get.

This can really improve our awareness and

to not have unnecessary stress and we can

see things how they really are, and that

can really, we can be more in control

of gliding our feelings and our thoughts

towards the actions that we want to take.

But on the flip side of that, if we’re

not working on our mindset, if we’re

just letting ourselves be reactive

and just, you know, letting our

thoughts kinda run rampant, we can have

unnecessary stress and we can just be

kind of a victim to our own thoughts

and just letting those, run wild.

We can be less likely to take action less

in control of our emotions and our state,

and be more glided, more likely to be,

have the result of compulsive behaviors.

It’s going to leave us feeling

stuck and losing confidence and

overall feeling unfulfilled,

which is not what we want in life.

So unfortunately this is where I’ve

found myself many, many, many years ago.

But first of all, going way, way back,

I’ve always been interested in how the

brain works through just seeing people

operate in the world and thinking

about myself and like, I wouldn’t

necessarily do that, but they do.


That’s interesting.

So after I left school, I studied

criminology for a few years.

It was awesome.

Super fascinating psychology side

of things, and a subject called,

conduct a human, the human condition.

And that was absolutely amazing.

Fast forward a few years, I started

making websites in 2007 and started my

business in 2009 and have been building

websites and working with clients on

development, design, and marketing.

Since then super fascinated in the

mindset and, and, psychology element of

marketing as well and mindset coaching,

super passionate about those things.

Well, it’s always been quite a social

kind of guy, regularly, like seeing

my friends and being out and about and

exploring new places and stuff like that.

But a few years ago, I

wasn’t social at all.

I was trying to build my business

and I didn’t feel like I was

doing a particularly good job.

I could barely even leave the house.

I’m not sure exactly what was

happening, but I just felt like I was,

I didn’t have the stuff I didn’t have.

Those things that other people have

that we’re able to achieve success

in some kind of effortless way.

And I didn’t know what that stuff was.


I felt like all I knew, I thought

I knew was that I didn’t have it.

There was even one time where I,

I gave my girlfriend at the time,

my phone, because the, just the

thought, just having it Nimi.

Would send me into incredibly anxious,

and negative spiral, the ding of it,

or just the thought of it potentially

going off and needing to respond

just was no good for me at that time.

So it was a couple of days before I could

even bring myself to take action on that.

And that really, it was a bit sad

on reflection, but at the time it

was, that was also quite curious,

but like what, what is going on?

And I knew I needed some space to

like, try to try to figure this out.

Know I wasn’t making the money

that I wanted to, what money I

did have was kind of running out.

It just felt like a complete failure.

I really felt like I lacked confidence.

I really thought that was the answer.

I need to be more confident.

So I would actually do things

that were kind of worse off for

what, for long-term confidence.

I do work for free for people.

I would just seek praise

for things that I was doing.

I would go out and I would force myself

to go out to some social situations,

not really with my close friends,

but with like acquaintances, like

kind of business contacts at meetups

where I could kind of be anyone like,

they didn’t really know her, so they

would know me or anything like that.

So I could put on this, this facade

and, that I would, in some ways, get

some praise and make some friends and.

But after that, I would be so exhausted.

I would be like wiped out for days.

Cause I’m kind of trying to boost

myself up in order to, to get out there.

And I thought that would really

help, but it’s kind of like eating

junk food, like chocolate chip

cookies or something like that.

Getting that those little hits of praise

from external validation, it’s like a

praise flavored chocolate chip cookie,

but you just want more of all the time.

You have one, you just keep wanting

more, keep wanting to you’re building

that habit of that unhealthy habit.

It’s not something that’s gonna improve.

Long-term long-term confidence.

I’d love to say at this point,

I discovered something that

like changed everything.

Like, you know, the three easy

mindset hacks or something like

that, but it wasn’t the case at all.

It was a combination of being

aware and just looking at my

own behavior and learning.

And the things that I’m going to

share, hopefully useful to you, but

these are some of the most important

things that really came out of this,

this chronic kind of painful, but,

overall I’m grateful for it, this,

this learning experience that I had.

So the common mindset issues

that I say there’s, there’s three

main ones, but first of all, I

want to get into understanding

our brains a little bit more.

So there are two parts of the brain

that I really want to talk about.

So there’s the neocortex

and the limbic system.

First of all, the neo-con texts, it’s the

new brain, it’s the younger kind of brain.

It controls things like planning

and like strategic thinking.

So when we’re making plans and

doing goal setting and analyzing

results and things like that,

that’s the, that’s the neocortex,

it’s the new part of our brain.

Then we’ve got the limbic system and the

amygdala sometimes referred to as the

croc brain, then this controls things like

emotions and memory, and it’s involved

with reinforcing behaviors as well.

So we’re in the one we’re in the

moment when we’re in the right now,

when we’re feeling strong emotions,

whether there’s a fear or love or

responding to a physical threat, like a

rattlesnake rope, something like that.

That’s our limbic system.

That’s what’s inaction at that point.

Now, this is where we can

really trip ourselves up.


When we want to change something

in our lives and want to set a goal

and achieve that and work on it.

There’s two parts of our brain that are,

that are working here when we set the goal

and we’re like, all right, I want to make.

Yeah, a hundred thousand

dollars this year.


That sounds great.

Neocortex is activated thinking.

I love that.

It’s like far off in the distance.

It’s not in the now, so it’s not the

emotional response reacting to fight

or flight or anything like that.

It’s thinking in the future, it’s

strategically planning feels great

neocortex reinforcing itself.


Love to make plans.

That will be amazing.

And then love to set that goal and

then making a plan, breaking that down.

All right.

What do I need to do to make

a hundred thousand dollars?


I need to, I need to sell

some more of my, my services.

I need to contact, these

different businesses.

I need to set up my, my website.

I need to, create some marketing copy.


All right.

The sounds the sounds doable.

How many calls do I probably need to make?

All right.


It looks like it’s going to be trying

to make about 20 contacts per week.

And convert this kind of money

and the math makes sense.


Neocortex is having a great time.

It’s analyzing things, doing math.

Awesome feels, feels pretty good doing

this, not particularly strong emotion,

unless you’re thinking in the future and

imagining what you’re going to do with

all this money and how amazing it will be.

It’s really not in the now.

So your, your limbic system is not really

particularly activated at that point.

When it does kick in is

when you are taking action.

You’ve got these plans.

You’re whatever you’ve done.

You’ve set up your vision

board and you’re like, yes.

All right, I’m going to do these things.

I’m going to contact these people.

Write these articles, let’s

go sit down and get to work.

And something else kicks in.

Does it another voice going on there?

It’s like, Whoa, I didn’t

really feel like doing this.

I don’t know what to do,

what what’s going on yet.

Or really write these articles.

This doesn’t feel right yesterday.

We’re making these plans and

making a hundred thousand

dollars and that felt amazing.

But right now, Like, how

are we going to get them?

We’re not going to make progress.

Maybe, maybe there’s a course.

Maybe there’s a course.

I can get, okay.

Buy a course, do the course.

That feels pretty good.

You’re not really taking that action.

That’s going to help, but

you’re doing the course.

You’re taking something you’re

being busy and that’s kind of

distracting for the moment.

Maybe that doesn’t work,

that doesn’t play out.

And you still haven’t

written that article.

You still haven’t made those calls

or made those contacts, those things.

That you’ve made the plan to

help you, but now you’re not

taking action on that thing.

There’s another, another voice

that’s coming up and it knows

you very well because it’s hung

out with you for your whole life.

And it’s, something Steven

Pressfield calls, in his book, the

war of art called the resistance.

And this is you in the moment,

not wanting to take the action.

You said you’re going to do it.

Now, this is just to keep you safe.

It’s to keep you from change.

And that’s what our limbic

system, that’s what our, our

croc brain is really good at.

It’s keeping us doing the

things to keep us safe, to stop

us expanding too much energy.

So it will be resistant to change.

Now at this point, there’s

nothing really to do.

This is just something to be aware of.

It’s not something that’s unique to you.

It’s not something you can sit there

and be like, Oh, like, I’m just no

good at this because that again is your

resistance helping you not take action.

That’s an excuse to stop you from

doing the thing that you need to do.


So at this point, nothing to

do, just be aware of this.

The next thing is that

thoughts create feelings.


So we have like 75,000 thoughts per day.

No idea who counted all of these

thoughts, but let’s just call that

a fact they aren’t real or relevant

or necessarily useful, but they

can stir up emotions within us.


Some things are just facts.

You may just have a thought

about, okay, there’s there’s

my phone, there’s the lights.

There’s the wall.


That doesn’t really do anything,

but maybe there’s a thought like,

you know, I’m no good at this.

I could never present

effectively to an audience.

I can’t write marketing copy.

I’ll never be a success.

Like these kinds of things.

They can, they can be painful.

They can store up, they can

store up emotions that are,

that are not very helpful.

On the flip side, you can have,

thoughts, like, I just need

to put in a bit more effort.

Who do I know that I can learn from?

I can’t wait to try this

out for the first time.

These kinds of thoughts, they can

stir up different kinds of emotions.

And those emotions can be much

more inspiring to take action.

Sometimes one of them is reactive saying

it’s kind of like happening to us.

And then the other one is proactive as

we’re actively creating these thoughts.

Now my first experience of like

applicable a way that these, this

concept can be actually applied.

Was I introduced to me from, my

good friend, Jenny Lincolnton, and

it’s a cold the model by Brookhurst

Theo from the life coaching school.

And I’m just going to give you a very

high level, look at this right now.

But, if this is interesting to

you, I encourage you to go and

check it out in more detail.

Just go ahead and Google that.

And, there’s videos and I

think there’s articles too.

So it goes like this and I’m just

going to, you know, map it out

with my hands at the top there’s

circumstance, like things that are

happening and then there’s thoughts.


And then below that is feelings.

Cause thoughts create feelings, right?

As the example of Byron Katie,

the thought of that being a

snake created that feeling.

And then we act based on our feelings and

then our results are based on our actions.

They’re a result of our actions.


So thoughts mean, sorry, circumstance,

thoughts, feelings, action results.

Now I’m just going to put an example

through this so you can see how it

works, both in the reactive and the

proactive way of looking at this.

So let’s say you’ve got a client and

they’re not paying their invoice.

So circumstance client not paying invoice.

Thought it could be lots of thoughts

that can happen at this point.

Let’s pick one that you may, you

may have experienced, or you may know

someone who’s experienced thought.

I, my clients never pay on time.

I’m no good at this.

I’ll never be a success feeling awful.

Not, not very good, not inspired.

They’re just down.

Just no energy, you know?

So let’s just say uninspired.

Feel like a failure action from that

feeling, you know, complain to someone,

tell them, tell someone that I know

all my clients are paying result.

Clients continue not to pay on time.


So this could be a, a maybe

dramatic, but a reactive model.

Things that something just

happens automatically, you

know, without you intervening.

So we can flip that around.

And when, instead of starting with our

thoughts, we’re going to do the same

circumstance, but instead of starting with

our thoughts, we’ll start with the result.

So the result, all my

clients pay on time in fault.



Could, what action could help with that?

Maybe it’s setting up some

kind of automatic payment

system take their credit card.


That sounds pretty good.

So what feeling is going to

help me take that action?

Maybe it’s a feeling of

just like calm confidence.

There’s not really, maybe there’s not

really much that needs to feel just

calm confidence to do that action.

And then the thought, what thought

will help cultivate that feeling?

I know what I’m doing and this will help.

I know this will help me.

I know setting up automatic

payments will help me.

That’s a pretty good thought.

So now the circumstance client not

paying is I didn’t pay invoice on time.

Now has the thought, I know I need to

set up my automatic payment system,

which creates the feeling of just calm

confidence, which creates the action

of setting up the automatic payment

system and getting those credit card

details, which creates the result

of all your clients paying on time.

Okay, so this, I really liked this one,

this model, as a way of being able to

observe your thoughts and how they impact

your feelings and your actions and your

results and how the circumstances kind

of play into this and that you don’t have

to be always reactive in the same way.

You can become proactive through

practice and through awareness.


So look up, if you’re interested in

this, go ahead and look up the, The,

the model by Brooke Castillo from

the life coaching school, after

the rest of this talk, of course.


The next thing I want to go through

is being aware of how you compare.

I don’t know about you, but, I can very

much compare myself to versions of myself

that it heaps better and it doesn’t

feel very good or compare myself to

versions of other people that I interpret

or perceive as being heaps better.

And that also doesn’t feel very good.

Sometimes it does inspire

me to take action though.

It’s I get a little competitive

and that can be very fun.

So why is comparison sometimes

a good thing and sometimes

not so good of a thing.

Like what what’s up with that?

We unpack the way that we compare the

different ways we can kind of engineer

comparisons that are useful to us.

An example of a comparison.

That’s not particularly useful.

I have that I have used in the past and

I have, received some treatment that has

helped me be aware of this and be able to,

in some ways, overcome it in some ways.

And it’s comparing my current worst self.

To my future, best self by difference.


So if I look at me now, feeling

awful, whatever that might be,

I don’t feel over right now.

I feel amazing.

But, in some moments I might

not be feeling particularly good.

Say I’m working on a project and

I’m like, Oh man, this is new.

This is hard.

What am I doing?

God, what am I, what am I doing?

And I think ahead to the future.

And I think about this version of myself

that I’m like idolizing and I want to

become, and I’m like, Aw, like that

version of me doesn’t have this problem.

Ah, I’ll never get there.

Maybe a thought that comes up that

thought then creates a feeling of

being down and I’ll believe it.

I’ll never get there.




But if I kind of decide to

re-engineer that a little bit, and

I’m like, okay, so I’m comparing by

word best self at the moment with

future best self by difference.

That’s not particularly helpful, but

let’s say I compare to, yesterday or

last week and the things I was working on

and maybe not my best self, but you know,

pretty good version of myself last week.

Like, you know, working away at things.

And then this week, My best self, well, my

pretty good self work in a way and things.

I don’t compare that by difference.

Like, well, I’m doing, you know,

I’m doing these things a bit better.

I’m, I’m, getting up a bit earlier

and I’m working a little bit more on my

health and that feels pretty amazing.

That’s awesome.

That’s a lot more inspiring.

The kind of metaphor that I, that I

like to use with this comparison is,

is like, a play with a cat with like

a, like a piece of string or whatever,

a cat toy, and you drag it alone.

And if you don’t drag it fast enough

and they catch it and then they kind of

get bored real fast and start looking

around and like, you never existed.

Then that’s not fun for them.

And it’s not fun for you

when the game’s over.

If you don’t move it fast enough.

Have you moved too fast, then

kind of same thing happens.

They’re like get excited and then, you

know, they’re gone and you just, wow.

That was a short game.

Wasn’t it?

But if you’re able to just move it

just a little bit, so they, they

think that they can get it and they

may get it every now and then, but

it’s just enough interestingness.

It’s just, it’s that motivation.

That’s like, ah, I could get

there, but I’m not there yet.

That’s what you want to be kind

of aiming for when it comes to,

if you’re comparing with someone,

right, you don’t have to just do

reactive, you can do it proactively.

All right.

So the next thing I want to look at is

growth mindset and the growth mindset

is simply that with effort you can

change and improve with a fixed mindset.

You are who you want, you know, your

inherent abilities, some words that

might come up in a fixed mindset.

Like I am no good at this.

Right and words that might

come up in a growth mindset.

I’m not so good at this yet.

I need more practice.


So you can just change those wordings

to help you shift your mindset.

There’s really subtle, ways that we talk

to ourselves and talk to others can really

affect the way we think about things.

There’s so much in the words that

we say to others and to ourselves.

So we’re in a growth mindset.

Everything is a skill.

Everything is learnable.

Here I am presenting at the

moment like w will recording.

And it’s something that like I do, I

would love to be much better at I’d

love it to be, effortless in some way.

But thinking about that and

thinking about it being effortless

is maybe a very long way away.

But if I think about the effort I’m

putting in that and focus on today

and focus on the actions I’m taking to

improve, and the efforts I put into talks,

that’s something I can control, but being

effortlessly good at this at some point

in the future, that that’s a far away goal

and it’s going to take action right now.

But if I focus on those actions, if I

focus on that growth and being on the

edge of my comfort zone and continuously

practicing and getting feedback.

That is much more likely to help than

just focusing on this future best

version that I may or may not get to.

So be aware of your, your mindset.

Are you in a fixed mindset or

are you in a growth mindset?

How can you adjust your language

to become more of in a fixed

mindset and focus on your efforts?

There was, an event that I was, I

was helping organize and we were

doing this, this live stream, for a

dentist who coached other dentists.

And he was talking about the sales process

and he was talking about, saying to,

people who come to the dentist pricing and

that it’s uncomfortable for some dentists.

And this dentist coach was saying, all you

do is you just say what the pricing is.

And then you say nothing.

You said that.

And he said, it’s only uncomfortable

the first 200 times, and then it’s easy.

And I thought that was

hilarious, but also very true.

It’s like, it’s not going to you.

Don’t just make it up.

Like, Oh, I’m good at this.

And it’s comfortable now

maybe for some people it is.

But if that’s not for

you, it’s repetition.

It’s reps.

It’s getting in there and it’s working out

more reps and be excited about those reps.

Let’s go put in some reps,

not I’m not there yet.

I’m going to sit on the

couch and feel like crap.

That’s a reactive way of doing

things, but more proactively is

going in and putting in the reps

like a quote that inspires me daily.

And I think about very

often is from Henry Ford.

I first read this in, in think and

grow rich the book by Napoleon Hill.

And it’s whether you think you can,

or you think you can’t you’re right.

So you might as well just think you can.

Well, think you can try at least

think you can put in some effort.

All right.

So they are the common mindset

issues and a couple of different

ways to work around them.

Now, I want to share with you some of the

strategies and the mantras that I’ve used

to really help, improve my own mindset.

First of all, it’s taking

care of the fundamentals.

Now, the fundamentals to me, sleep

and I mean, asking any kind of

psychologist or, a doctor about

this is, I guess isn’t just me.

It’s sleep, eating and exercise.

So sleeping eight hours a night,

like whatever you need to feel

good, but aiming for rent eight

hours and eating a healthy diet.

Try not to snack too much, just

being aware of what you’re doing

and trying to lessen the compulsive

behavior of snacking when you’re

feeling anxious and things like that.

And then exercise getting out, going

for a walk, any small, simple steps

that you can do a couple of pushups.

Whatever it might be and aiming to do

those kind of in the morning, because

when you’re taking actions that are good

for you, that really builds confidence.

And if you do that first, then that can

carry out throughout your whole day.

Other things that can really help I’m

really cultivating that growth mindset.

Gratitude is something I’ve found that

can really, easily switch my mindset

from like, Oh, this everything sucks

to like, Oh, you know, I’m pretty

grateful that, you know, I’ve got legs.

And I live in a, like a really like

where I live and I have great friends.

That just is like, just another

perspective on life, completely

where I may be like really

focused on my current problems.

Another thing is meditating.

Meditating actually really helps that,

that front part of that front part

of our brain, that prefrontal cortex,

it, it really helps that recover and

helps us develop some more willpower.

So meditation in its most

simple ways would be.

Sitting still and focusing on your

breath for around 10 minutes, as

far as I’m aware, there’s not a

particularly, easy, quick, or

full-proof way to get good at meditating.

It’s a practice.

It’s not something you’re like.

I am the master of meditation.

It’s something to practice for you just

as the way that you go to sleep and you

rest and you eat healthy, you take care

of your brain by just stopping it from

reactive thoughts all the time, all the

time, all the time and giving it a break.

Giving it some blissful rest just to,

to focus on one thing for 10 minutes.


So they, they are the fundamentals.

The next thing is knowing your why.

Now this has probably been done to

death so many times, but knowing

your why is, is so important.

There’s a book, by Victor Frankl

called man’s search for meaning.

And there’s a, I believe it’s a

quote in there or maybe it’s niche,

but anyway, it’s those with a strong

enough, why can we stand anyhow?

If you remember from earlier with

the two different parts of our

brain, the, the hell the is very

much in the now and that’s going to

be what we’re going to potentially

come up against some resistance.

But if you have a super strong, why,

if you’re really connecting with your,

why you can withstand those howls,

you can withstand those things that

aren’t quite going the way you want to.

It’s not all, all perfect,

for you in those moments.

But connecting in with

that wine can really help.


Here’s a really basic

way to connect with them.

Your why quick exercise.

So, first of all, what do you want?

Like, what’s something

that you want in your life.

And then why is that important?

Ask yourself why, why is that important?

Why else is that important?

Like get deeper.

If you’re familiar with WP elevation

and Troy Dean’s work, you might

know about the go wide, go deep

framework, do this on yourself.

You know, why is this important?

Why else, why else, why else what’s

most important connecting and really

feel that you want to get to a

point where you’re like, really?

You found some good stuff, like

some, Oh yeah, I really want that.

That’s why.

And example could be something

like, you know, talking before about

making a hundred thousand dollars.

Why is that important to you?

Why else?

Why else?

Why else?


Until you really connecting with

something, that’s like, Aw, that that’s

really, that’s why I want to do this.


The next thing is, is

practicing awareness.

Now this isn’t so much a thing to do as

a, just a thing to, to be in your life.

As you go about your day as you do

work, just practicing, being aware

and you can use, triggers like

emotions to, to improve your awareness.

Like if I’m working on something

and I notice myself getting a bit

agitated or uncomfortable, just pause,

just take a breath and just be aware

of what’s going on at the moment.


I notice there’s something in my

chest and I’m feeling a bit sweaty.



That’s interesting.

And that’s it just being

aware at that time.

So something to practice, the

awareness is the precursor to change.


You can’t really change something if

you’re not aware that it’s a problem

or it’s a behavior that you’re doing.

So when it can really help you identify

what’s going on the next, the will.

The first of the mantras that I want to

share with you is what’s the opportunity.

So this is something or pizza

myself throughout the day.

It’s a practice that I have now.

Because I want to see the

opportunity in everything.

If I’m there’s moments where I might feel

quite down and it’s not really working the

way I want to, but when I think what’s the

opportunity here, is this an opportunity

for patients, for me, maybe I’m injured

and it’s taking a long time to heal, and

I’m not able to do some running that I

want to it’s opportunity for patients.

Maybe I’m speaking in an event for the

first time with people I don’t know about

this might be an opportunity for courage.

Or if I’m starting a blog and I’m new

to writing or something like that,

there’s an opportunity for practice.

There’s always an opportunity and

you can use this mantra to help

you see what that opportunity is.

The next mantra is do hard things.

So everyday doing hunt things that are

going to progress you towards your goal.

Now start wherever you are.

Whatever’s hard for you.

Don’t worry about what’s hard for someone

else and what you think you should be

able to do and what you can’t do, but

doing hunt things that are just for you.

I have a stack of index cards

and I write the things I need to

do each day on the index cards.

It’s index cards, because I can

only fit like 10 things on there.

And I’ll Mark three of them as things

that, that are hot for me, they

going to be growth, like edgy kind

of things for me, but they are going

to progress me towards my goals.

One of them is my morning

routine that I’m developing.

It’s not really a full-blown habit.

I don’t do it autonomously just yet.

So it is something that,

that helps me grow.

It is going to help me, will hopefully

help me move towards my goal.

So I put that on the

list and I Mark that off.

And when I do that, that fills me

with confidence that I’m doing the

thing I said, I’m going to do it.

So start wherever you are with

whatever you’re working on.

Whatever’s a little bit edgy for you.


If it’s too difficult, the things

you’re putting on there just maybe

lower the stakes a bit until you’re

able to cross those things off.

If it’s too easy for you,

then, you know, grow the stakes

a little bit up the stakes.

If that’s the expression and put

things that are a little bit more

difficult for you, this is really

gonna expand your comfort zone.

The next mantra is the good

thing is, and this was, this

was a very important one for me.

I would remember finishing my days

and thinking I didn’t achieve enough.

That was an awful day.

I feel like crap, and that would not be

a good way, you know, to, to breasts at

night or to kind of reflect on my day.

It’s not very useful for growth.

But I developed a thing

called the good things list.

It was just a piece of paper

and it was like divided into,

the days and five, rows.

So it was for the weeks of the month.

And then each day I had to write one

good thing that happened in the day.


So after a couple of weeks, I could

look back and I could see, you know,

regardless of what’s happening in my

day, the good thing is I did that.

Oh yeah.

And I did that.

Oh yeah, I did that.

That’s right.

You know, I’m feeling pretty good now.

It really helped to shift me

from, well, the bad thing is

this, this didn’t work today too.

Well, the good thing is blah, blah, blah.

And over time I was able to just

move my attention from seeing things

that aren’t working to, things

that have worked and are working.

To see what the good thing is

in so many different things.

It’s quite similar to know what’s the

opportunity, but the good thing is

something I encourage you to practice.

Even at the end of your sentences,

you’re complaining about something or

you’re down about something finishing

with, well, the good thing is, you know,

like my clients didn’t pay on time, but

the good thing is I’m going to set up

an automatic payment system and this

is not going to happen in the future.



So the last mantra that I’m gonna

share with you is the name of the talk.

And it’s just today.

Now this is to help focus on

the process, not the outcome,

talked about setting goals.

We talked about, you know,

making plans and taking action.

This is to help focus on just today.

What are the actions I

can take today right now?

What can I do to make today?


Don’t worry about tomorrow.

Don’t worry.

About three months away.

Don’t worry about these plans.

I have to the business and whatever

it might be in for my life.

And I don’t feel like I’m

ever going to get that out.

Come back.


Back to just today.

And that has brought me some calm

and it helps me just focus on things.

Today I can, I can take that compartment.

I can take that little portion of time

and I can just work on those things

that really helps me maybe for you.

It’s just this album just right

now, whatever that might be.

I do encourage you to come up with

some of your own mantras that help you.

You you’ll know through like

testing and experimenting and,

and through that awareness.

I talked about that.

Like what, what kind of works for you

develop and own your own mantras or

borrow and steal other people’s or some

of the ones that I’ve discussed here.

So a quick recap.

So we talked about how our brains work

with the neocortex and the limbic system.

Talked about how our

thoughts create feelings.

And now we can reverse that by

looking at results and the actions

that we want to, that we need

to take to create those results.

Talked about proactive and reactive

thoughts, talked about growth

mindset versus a fixed mindset.

And then I shared with you the

various, mandarins that, that I’ve

used to be able to help reframe, my

own thoughts and my own mindset.

So just pause for a moment.

Just think like what’s something, maybe

you’ve been taking notes, like what’s

something that’s been helpful for you,

something that you can apply today or,

or right now, or at some point in the

very, very near future that you can

practice and you can see how you can

use that to reframe your own mindset.

So two things I would encourage you to

do right now, as well as one is just

notice, just become aware, just notice

yourself as you’re going about your day.

And you’re feeling certain things in

your you’re taking certain actions.

Just notice your awareness level.


Notice how things feel, what you

were doing beforehand, what you

were doing, what you’re doing next.

Then just kind of like describe

the physical sensations.

Maybe like, Oh, is it.

Bit of a knot in my stomach there.

That’s interesting.

When I, when I got that email, like

without judgment, just become aware and

the next thing is do one thing today.

If it’s not almost

midnight for you, but yeah.

Do one thing today.

That’s, you know, it’s edgy

for you, but it’s doable now.

It’ll help you.

It’s something to help

you move in the direction.


You want to go like, write it down,

put it somewhere that’s that’s visible,

like right in front of you and cross

it off, you know, when your day.

Then do this every day.

Like I said, I aim for three things.

Well, I do three things and

that is a win for the day.

If I do three of my like edgy

things, that’s me winning the day.

I don’t have to get through

everything on my list, but those

three things that are growth for me.

So one more thing before we wrap

up is the reality is unfortunate

reality or maybe fortunate reality.

It’s like, no, one’s coming to save us.

No, one’s coming to save you.

No, one’s coming to save me.

We’ve got to be there for ourselves.

We have to learn to coach ourselves.

We have to learn how we work and

how we can help ourselves, like

with someone else that we’re trying

to coach and like, come on, buddy.

You know, you got this let’s change this.

Can we have a closer look

at how you’re taking action?

Like, you know, you’re your best

friend trying to help you get

the most out of life, you know?

No one’s going to come

and do this stuff for us.

Unfortunately, we have to cultivate

these things and do it for ourselves.

Thinking clearer and feeling better

is something you can improve.

You can practice this stuff.

You can be better at it with effort

by taking time to practice awareness,

see opportunities and do hard things.

You’ll build trust in

yourself and build confidence.

So focus on that today, just today.

And I’ll just leave you with this

quote, be impatient with action,

but patient with the results.

That’s from who’s the

co-founder of angel list.

So massive thank you to the WordFest

organizers and big orange heart.

And thank you to you for watching this.

Until next time, thank you and take care.

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