We need coaches and sometimes we need to self coach. This talk is about the simple process to do self coaching and how to find your own answers.
We need coaches and sometimes we need to self coach. This talk is about the simple process to do self coaching and how to find your own answers.
Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Wherever you are. What time? What time is it in your location? I just wish you all the best and in faith. Okay. Um, my name is Masni Mustafa. I am from Malaysia and I’ll talk bit about myself. I’m a coach, I’m doing leadership coaching, life coaching, and I’m also a book author. I’m also a trainer and I am an HR consultant at the moment.
I have very strong interests in putting on the hats or what I want to call it to be is a self coach for the topic that I’m going to share with you today is self coach for success. And I know a lot of people are aware what is coaching and maybe some are not, but. Uh, let’s just go through this, uh, session and I hope it can be meaningful to each and every one of you.
So I will talk about self coach, but I want you to think about success. If they’re still what success, it’s very big and it has different meaning to different people. So I want you to close your eyes for a couple of seconds, which I will, uh, family surely just close your eyes and imagine what success means to you just right now.
So you have your own definition of success. You have your visualization of what success is. And I tend to, I can tell you that everyone is correct. No one is the wrong where success is concern to everybody because some people think success as having little money, but people think success as, um, having high position.
Some people think success as being a good mother, achieving something or buying new things, buying cars, buying a big house. So it’s definitely, depending on each individual. And I can tell you, everyone is correct.
I think the conclusion, like it’s really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. I think it’s true, I think it’s true, its really the truth why? Because I can think about myself. Oh, it is a good thing that is very simple to, to others, but I think they take it very differently. So there are some situation when we feel.
It’s simple to our eyes, but it’s quite difficult on the other person’s perspective. So like it’s such a, everybody is, it’s actually not that difficult. We tend to make it so complicated. So we should actually learn how to look at things differently and then to make things a lot easier for ourselves. So why is coaching the simplest explanation?
What is coaching? It’s potential and it is a positive interaction between a client and the coach. What do you think this video it session was recorded uh, during the training session that I had, uh, on training the coach. So this session, you can see the person talking is the coaching for the client. And the person listening is the coach is doing a lot of pressure and a lot of talking because she has issues to, to, to let out without a coach and the coach is listening she will be attentively for her to understand what is being said, she has to be really focused.
It’s tiring, listening is tiring that she has to listen and ask questions. So we call it questions and powerful questions because with powerful questions, the coachee will think seriously and really, um, express what, what she has in her mind to the coach.
So by doing so she’ll be able to find solutions to her problems or challenges or to her issues. So why do we make protests? Because we are stuck we need someone to talk to. So that’s what is happening here.
And, uh, in normal situation, the coach, I will not say it and almost do it in every situation. The coach will use a sort of a model to assist, uh, the coach in her process of the posting in the coaching process. Because, uh, if you do not have a model, then the conversation would be more of a. Okay, especially you were on a lady’s or female concern and we tend to enjoy chit chatting, or I cannot say about everybody may be myself.
I tend to enjoy chit chatting and having a model to guide the session will assist the coach in, in, uh, bringing the, the client to the right class where the clients wants to go. So, uh, I’m using Gasci model. There are a lot of models out there. For example, as I mentioned as a star model grow model, I’m using Gasci model.
So G stands for goal A for alternatives, uh, S for strategies, C for consequences and I for implementation. So what is goal? Goals, what do you want? What did I want? In terms of organizational terms for individual terms, it can be used in both ways and alternatives is what can you do? What can they try and do to achieve the goals.
Strategies, how do you plan to do it? How do you plan to achieve the goals and consequences I think you have to really break it under consequences under strategies. So, uh, the coach will bring the client to look at the consequences. What are the consequences of the strategy? Right. They’d have forced the impact or negative impact for the core team or the client or to the person next to the coach.
For example, the coworkers, the spouse, uh, the children under the department. And I think they have gone through the consequences process, now looking implementation. How, how do you want to achieve it? What are the ways you can do to achieve? So these are the model. That can be used in a coaching process.
So does coaching work?
Yeah, it works. And it has been proven in most organizations in last coaching session whereby the client would get a information or assistance from the coaching session. I think they tend to get results and what things that they want to do after the coaching session. So it does work and doing a coach.
Of course, if we can’t afford it, we really need a coach, but you have to be careful to choose the coaches because there are so many coaches out there. And, uh, if they are not properly trained as, as, uh, as coaching. They be not keep your secrets. I think the most important thing for us is for people to keep our secrets because couches who keep our secrets will keep the session confidential.
And if we need a coach, when we ask in any situation, we have a lot of challenges in this life, even though we want to make it seem, but there’s so many challenges in this life and we need a coach so that the coach can actually help us to achieve certain things in our life. So, uh, I’m not saying that you really need, uh, in every situation you need to have a coach. Sometimes you need to have a question when you are stuck, you really need to have a push for you to talk for. If anybody want to talk to your good friends, you don’t want to talk to your siblings or you don’t want to talk to your.
A spouse it’s on certain methods. For example, when I was having some problems, um, I helped one of my sisters in the whole family found out. So I should not be talking about me discussing my problem with my family members. I would rather talk to a coach. So that’s how it is. So, so he, uh, meet coaches for certain things that we need to talk about like sometimes what if we have some secret that we don’t want anybody to know. You don’t want a course, you know, after all I could. You see when we, even though I’m not being judgemental, they still. Someone, they are still a person. They are, you know, how can I talk my secret to this coach? What can I share my secret, my darkest ever secret?
Oh, my something I’m so shy to discuss. I have a dream that I want to talk about this dream to anyone else. Um, I, I was so shy. I was so embarrassed. So if I did this we didn’t would it be self coaching because if you don’t do self coaching and we cant speak within our heart. We want to do something, but we don’t know. So what should we do? We need to sell coaching and the only way that we can do it.
So how to self coach, oh my thats a good question, how to do self coach. Oh, interesting. Right? How to do self coach. Very easy. You just need to be honest with yourself. You can, uh, keep secrets from your friend. You can keep secrets from your spouse, but you have something within you that, you know, so that is the only thing for you to follow.
And you have, whether you like it or you dont like it you have to be honest, whenever you do self coaching.
Well, what, what is the secret to be honest with ourselves, think about it, what is the secret?
Is there a secret? Okay, I would like to share something about your heart.
You know some of the important things about your heart. Some of you know, some of you may not okay, the heart it’s interesting, isn’t it? The heart is a muscle whose job is to pump blood hundred thousand times a day to all the organs in the body. There are 40,000 sensory neurons relaying information to the brain from the heart.
Wow. The heart emits an electricals field 60 times greater in amplitude than the activity in the brain and electromagnetic field 5,000 times stronger than of the brain. Wow. So isn’t it amazing. Something is kept inside your heart, but your heart, she’s everything, everything thing in the world through your brain. So, if you keep something in your heart, what will happen
The heart sends sensory neurons to your brain? So if let’s say you don’t like someone, it can send signal to the brain. So what does the brain do? The brain is do very naughty thing.
We’ll think also a thing. So what you going to do here? It’s not the stuff. Culture LSL. We flipped it to coach . So we have to coach our heart for what is best for us to do what it’s right for us to send a positive emotions to our brain. So how are you going to do that?
We need to synchronize between the heart and the brain, and we must make sure that the brain knows what our heart wants. So if we have a goal, if we have a goal. Then be asking how heart first before we ask our brain,
well, the normal coaching process, it’s all about the brain. You know, it’s all about I think. And the brain thinking that is the process between 2%, the coach and the client. But if you have something inside your heart, your deepest, right. And you want to do something about it. You asked her, you asked your heart, you asked your heart, you don’t ask your brain and you wanted to clarify things when your heart.
It gets to one, one. Interesting. Isn’t it very interesting. So in my belief and mostly my belief in my beliefs, the hobbies, my, our prophet is he say there is a piece of flesh in the body. If it becomes good, The whole body becomes good. But if It gets quite in the whole, the whole body gets four. And that is that, you know, in our head, this, if there’s a fresh as a flesh in the body and even the flesh is good but the flesh is hard. So we want to take care of our heart to make sure that our whole body stays good?
And in the, in our Quran on the day whereon neither wealth nor sons will avail, except him who brings to Allah a clean heart I want to things to a lot of teen height, so look at it, but it’s very important. It’s scientifically proven and it’s also based on, they just believe. So if you want to quote yourself,
okay. So now let’s look back at this, um, model, the Gasci model, the goal for alternative strategies implementation. Now, bear in mind while these things are basically whatever in your brain. So now you want to ask your why because you want to coach yourself. If you got to coach your staff. You don’t have anyone to talk to only help yourself.
So you didn’t have a piece of paper. Okay. You have this Gasci model. So you asked yourself one by one.
And then after you have your answer, you go back to now what can I do. What can I do to achieve my goal one day I have just now and then after that I would call it the strategy. How’d you plan to do it? How do I plan to do it? Now? I have my goal. I have my alternative choice. Then I have listed a lot of alternative and I need to choose which other alternative I want to execute.
And. I would say, how would I plan to do this? Once we have done that, I will ask myself again. So what, what is the consequences? If I do this, what will happen for myself? What happened to my job? I don’t know, whatever consequences that you have. And if you do decide to discard that strategy, you just prep it up.
Then you think, Oh, Oh, I achieved this. I go to achieve this.
I still have not your brain. Okay. Yes. Some of the sample questions. And I asked you a goal question, what is this? Why is this goal important to me? So you have to sit down. Really close your eyes. If you find it so difficult to answer those your eyes and just imagine, why is this goal important to me?
What I want out of this goal is this really what I want, why I want it so much. They helped me. Yeah. Helped me. Why do I want this thing? It’s just good for me. And if the thing that is good and I just don’t want it, it’s really important to me. I want to do it. I have to do it. Then you just proceed. So in your next piece of paper, the alternative questions, I have a pet dog.
Okay. If you just think about it. Yeah. I have a backdoor and if I see, yes I have. And ask yourself again. So what is it, what is the alternative? And you can ask, what are the things that I can do to achieve my goal? What can I do?
Um, what are my obstacles and how to remove obstacles? Remember, remember you have to understand your heart one because your heart will communicate to your brain. Okay. So once you say yes, then your brain will be thinking and turning their ideas. So what else can I do? Among all this alternatives, which one is best for me.
So you may have a few alternatives, one, two or three. You may have to sell you this which one is best best for you. And you just strike through that. That is not relevant or that it’s still suitable for you. Is that sort of brainstorming session for yourself, what you want to achieve and how you want to achieve it. Yeah.
It’s cultural. The alternative. You book your next pitch. Another piece of paper, you write your strategy. So you have chosen your alternatives. So you look at the best way to do it.
Oh, best can I do this? So one-off district alternative destiny strategy. So how best can I do this? So you write it down. You write it down because if you do it right, you just only think in your own mind, then it will not help you. You will work better if you see what you need to do, because that’s how we work.
We have to write, what are my strengths? What am I saying? You to know yourself? You know, what you are capable of, or you know, what you’re not capable of and what other resources do I need? You know, what are the, what are the things that you need to have? And you know, who can help you? And you have to think, what is the, what is the thing that I should do first?
All these things I should, what should I do first
it is using it. It’s real easy. Of course it’s not easy in the first trial, but once you are familiar with it, it’s quite easy for you based on all the strategies and what actions you need to do. You then can look at it. You then can look at
what’s consequences. What, what is the consequences of my actions? Will I hurt or harm anyone in the process? If yes, if yes, if I hurt someone, if I will hurt someone or if I will harm someone. So I really want to proceed with this.
Yeah. You should ask your heart, you know, because if you ask your mind, your mind is I say just, that was a very naughty thing. Your mind can do a lot of wonders and then do a lot of tricks, but it’s the most beautiful thing that God has ever created. So it will tell you what is the right thing and what is the wrong thing?
So you asked you hot, if it’s really what you want to do, you know, you can foresee, and if you want to scratch some of your strategies, you can just it. And you go to the next stage where you may have one or two strategies that you have scrapped after your eyes. You asked yourself if you may want to proceed with few more.
So let’s say you have three strategies because you have scrapped the few others. Then you go to implementation, how would I put my strategies? When am I going to start doing this? What is required of me? So what’s my commitment. And what are the deadlines? Well, there’s not a things that you can do, uh, okay.
Actually, um, set all your problems, all your issues and achieve the things that you want to achieve. Let me see that that is Gasci model, the implementation. This is the most important to me personally. This is the most important part of any coaching session coaching session with a coach or coaching session.
This, this is when you’re going to decide what you need to do when you’re going to start doing it. So this is implementation stage. You, you can have a template for you to write down what are the tasks for example I have here, no, what that is being identified and you can list down what are the steps and what are the sources and when is the deadline?
You know, not, I mean, when you do, self-coaching do not have to plan. You have to plan. It’s like normal coaching session. You have to, it does. This is the effort that you take and bear in mind if this is a coaching session for yourself, and it must be a great one because you are talking to your heart and your mind, but a synchronization between your heart and your mind will give, you will give you a quick result.
It. Okay. So that’s, um, that is coaching. That is coaching staff coaching session. I would like to share with you and I hope, um, this has benefit you in a way. If you are still, uh, do not know how to go about it and you need some assistance. You can contact me personally. Um, I am happy to share. About self coaching and about the heart, because I am, uh, literally focusing on coaching the heart.
Uh, it has been my plan to execute the program and has been my thing to make, um, to make the discipline a better place for everybody, by understanding, by helping people to push their heart, to make it, um, to make them better and to make the relationship better. And hopefully to make the world a better place to live in.
So with that, I would like to thank you. And I would like to say a good day, uh, good evening, good morning, or goodnight, and have a safe, I mean, like be safe because of the pandemic situation or was us stuck at home. Uh, we also do go out, but you have to be careful with whom we mingle means we have to, um, stay safe